I am Sarah Griffith and I am a housewife.

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Oh man, I was typing out this A.M.A.Z.I.N.G blog post about hermeneutics and how to interpret the bible correctly.  I titled it "Hermeneutics Brought to you by a Housewife."  The problem was I couldn't bring myself to type out "housewife." I can't put "housewife," no one will take that seriously.  I have to communicate that I have studied this and got an A.  I have to communicate that I have a handle on this or else people will just laugh. So I searched for other words....amateur bible student, professional bible student, Texas Tech grad, and nothing seemed right because, guess what, I am a housewife. As I sat there staring at the screen I thought, "Well, Jesus, I guess we better press-on into this, because this seems likely to be a problem."  So here's what happened this week:

I realized that I am a housewife.  I realized when people ask me, "What do you do?"  I either say, "I am just a housewife." Or I make up a slightly more sexy title if it is someone I am trying to impress.  For example: "Oh, my husband and I just got back from bible school and we are open to whatever God has for us."  The problem with that answer is that Jesus has already told us what He has for us, I just am not totally in love with what He has for me.  I am totally in love with what he has for Jesse.  I am totally in love with what he has for my friends from bible school.  I am totally in love with what he has for all my friends that I do life with.  So I had to ask myself, why?  Why is this hard for me to admit, live, thrive at and be proud of.

First, before I go any further I have to acknowledge that my kids and my hubs read this.  And I want to say, there is no one I would rather be than your mom and your wife.  This is not about me not loving being a mom.  This is not about me not loving and caring for our family.  This is not about me not loving picking up your belongings for the 4 trillionth time this week--well, maybe it is.  The fact is, I have already settled this question.  I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am where God wants me and I love our life.  Watching Jesse grow into the leader of this family and watching my kids grow to love Jesus is my joy in life.  Running this house is my jam.  Setting food down in front of you that you actually like is so fun for me.  Fifth grade math I could live without, but time spent with y'all doing homework is the best time.  What I am asking is why is it hard for me to tell people this is my job title?  Why do I feel like that is not enough in the world?  Why do I feel like I should be a housewife along with something else?

So I did press into this with Jesus this week.  I asked why I feel like a housewife is not enough.  I committed to praying about it, I meditated on it, I poked at it, and I looked down into the grossness of it.  And do you know why I did this with Jesus?  Because any thoughts that make me feel less-than, or not worthy, or that God is not pleased with me are lies that have taken hold.  Lies that take hold keep me from living in the freedom Jesus has provided for me.  And that is crap, and I am not living in bondage anymore.  So when I come across something like this it is a full-stop, and sit with Jesus and get the truth in and lies out.

I have to start with truth because obviously I can't alway trust that my feeling are right or truth.  So what does the Word say about my job title in life?  What does it say about doing the job The Lord has given you to do on earth?  Here are some notable verses that came to my mind:

1 Corinthians 12: 12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

Tyndale House Publishers. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2013. Print.

So my take-away from this scripture is that there are many parts to a working body.  Not everybody can do the same thing.  There are some super sexy jobs and then there are some more behind the scenes jobs.  So if I am a foot and I look at a hand and think, "That hand is super useful and loved by everyone, and I am just a foot," I am actually telling God He did not put me in the right spot. This scripture clearly says in verse 18 that God has put each part just where He wants it.  Now, I know God is perfect so telling Him he made a mistake would be called a sin.  The end. No way around it.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Tyndale House Publishers. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2013. Print.

This scripture is preceded by an essay on the Pillars of Faith that the Jews could model themselves after because of their faith.  The Jews that this letter was written to were about to deny Christ and go back to worshiping with the pharisees.  So the point of this letter was to encourage them to stay strong in their race despite their circumstances.  What stands out to me is "run the race God has set before us."  God gives us a race to run, so to speak, in this life on earth.  We should run and stay focused, not letting sin trip us up.  You know, the sin like telling God He made me the wrong body part in the body....or something like that.

Ephesians 2: 8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Tyndale House Publishers. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2013. Print.

What stands out to me here is that salvation is a gift from God.  I don't get credit toward salvation based on what I do.  So if I don't do another thing for the rest of my life except watch Netflix, God still gives me salvation because of my belief in Jesus. (Calm down, I know we stand before Him and give an account for how we spent our time here, and no, I don't want to say to my Savior--Dude! I am all caught up on Grey's Anatomy!)  Our salvation is God's masterpiece, we are a new creation when we believe in Jesus.  And get this, the whole point is so we can do the good things God planned for us long ago.  God has a plan for my life that he laid out long ago.  And when I disagree with my lot in life I am telling that perfect God that He made a mistake, again, which He didn't because He is perfect, which comes back around to that sin of telling God he is wrong, again.

And that is where it jumped off the page at me.  This is a submission issue, not a job title issue.  This is me looking up at the potter and saying, "You did not make me for the right thing, and you did not make me the right way."  DANG IT!!!  It just keeps coming down to submission for me, and my lack of it.  I can submit to the race laid out before me or I can jump the white line on the track, tell God He is wrong, and try to run someone else's race.  That is why I have a hard time telling people I am a housewife.  Somewhere along the way I believed the lie that the race set before me is not good enough, and that God must have gotten it wrong.

So how do I know God wants me to be a housewife right now?  How do I know that this is my race for right now? (I say right now because eventually these little people in my house might leave and go have families of their own, then my race might be different.)  Here are some practical tell-tale signs.  One: I am married and my husband wants me to stay home and take care of our house and family.  Two: I have two kids that need a cook, maid, spiritual coach, taxi driver and tutor (thank you Google, you make me look like a genius).  Three:  Nothing else I try to title myself with brings peace to my life, it brings strife.  Four: This is hard to qualify with words because I don't like to say "follow your feelings," but in my gut, I know this is the race He has laid out for me.  This is what He knows will grow Me into a person who looks more like Him.  This is the whole point of the race, to get to know Him more.  And I want to stress--This is not your race, this is mine.  Yours is different than mine.  Both of our races are perfect, because God made them.  Don't fall into the ditch of thinking you have to run my race.

Ok, so then I had to ask myself:

Do you believe that God is perfect? YES!

Do you believe that He has currently set a race before you called "housewife?"  YES!

Do you want to do what God has asked you to do? YES!

Do you want to become more like Christ? YES!

Do you know that the only person who you have to worry about pleasing is Jesus? YES--Wait, do I really know that?  No I don't, because if I really knew that I would have no problem telling anyone who asks, I am a housewife.  And there it is, the ugly truth.  I worry more about other people thinking I am awesome, than I do about pleasing Jesus.  What pleases Jesus is my submission to His plan for my life.

So why?  Why do I have a hard time with this?  I think it is because at some point in my life I decided that being a housewife was not enough for someone to do with their life.  I wanted to be a housewife, a horse trainer, an olympian, and a business owner. I decided that if I was "just a housewife" I wouldn't be taken seriously.  I thought, only busy people are taken seriously.  I wouldn't be seen by the everyone as a world-changer.  People would look at me as if I was just a housewife and think I am a joke. I wanted to be something.  I wanted people to look at me and say "Wow, she has it all.  Perfect husband, perfect kids, awesome horses, gold medal, and she is making money hand over fist!

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So I took this wrong-thinking into my Christian life with me.  I looked around and saw pillars of faith, KILLING IT for Jesus.  I was like, well I better figure out how to kill it for Jesus too!  Jesus can't just want me to be a housewife, I mean this is not 1950!  He wants me to be a bible student, a missionary, a bible-study leader, a worship leader, be on staff at a church, raise my children into pillars of faith, and have a marriage that reflects Christ's relationship with the church. Hey listen, I read all about the Proverbs 31 woman.  I turned that proverb into a checklist and I set out to nail it.  People would look at me and think, "GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN! That girl loves the Lord! People just look at her and get saved!"

Then I took that wrong-thinking even further.  I decided that if you were not doing "all the things" and "leading all the things" for Jesus you were not a good Christian.  I decided that just being faithful in my role as a housewife was not enough for God.  I needed to do more for Him.  I need to pursue more for Him.  I decided if I was not suffering for Jesus, I was not truly living the Christian life.  I wanted Jesus to be pleased with me.  I knew that He could only be pleased with someone who was going full-bore, full-tilt, 100 mph for Him.

But then I remembered this little jewel:

Romans 12: 1  And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Tyndale House Publishers. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2013. Print.

The wrongness of my thinking jumps off the page at me.  "Give your bodies to God"--don't tell Him what to do with your body.  "Let them [your bodies] be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him"--giving yourself to Him is worshipful, not telling him what you will do for him.  Don't follow the world, let God change you into a new person by changing the way you think.  "Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."  Denying His will for you is not good and pleasing and perfect, its wrong.  And it all comes back to submission to God, my friends.  That is what giving your body as living sacrifice means.  It means give yourself to Him, don't tell Him what you want to do for Him.  Oh Jesus, thank you for freeing me from this thinking.

I will confess, in the last two years God has really shown me my lack of submission to Him.  I confess that I will probably always be a person that wants more to do, and wants to strive and strain and have a long to-do list.  I have fought with Jesus over what my lot in life is.  I have declared and decided and pushed my way into things that were never mine in the first place.  How do I know I was pursuing things that  weren't mine?  Because it produced disunity in the body of Christ, instead of unity.  Let me give you some examples.

I pursued being a straight-A bible scholar--almost to the detriment of my marriage.

I pursued being on staff at my church--almost to the detriment of my relationship with my Pastor, his wife, and other staff members, like my own husband.

I pursued being a kick-ass worship leader--almost to the detriment of my friendship with our worship leader and his wife.

I pursued being a bible-study teacher--almost to the detriment of my sanity and the welfare of my family.

Am I proud of my behavior?  No, of course not.  Am I embarrassed that I behaved this way? YES!  Do I wish all the people in my life that I have hurt could just forget what I did?  Oh my gosh, that would be the best!  Am I thankful for God's grace and His ability to bring reconciliation to relationships--YES!  Do I wish He had made me submissive?--YES!  Just kidding! He did not make a mistake, remember? Did I expect Him to teach me about another area of un-submission to Him through typing out the word housewife? No--but I am glad He did because I already have more freedom.

So what now?  What happens when my wrong-thinking is exposed and I have to change?  Well, simply, I let God change me.  He is not wrong, I am.  I know that this is not a job or title issue it is a heart issue.  I know myself well enough to know if I was any of those things from above, I would still look at someone else and say, "Well they are cooler than me, their job is more important than mine."  It's not about the race, it's about my lack of submission.

The problem with my wrong-thinking is that it leads me to rely on myself to serve God and to decide for myself how I will serve God.  In the end that points people who look at me to see me, and not Jesus.  That is not living out that scripture from above which tells us to let God transform you.  The problem with my wrong-thinking is that when I decide there is something I should be doing for God, I will do whatever it takes to get it done, instead of waiting on God's timing.  The problem with my wrong thinking is it makes me want to call myself something other than housewife because I think other parts of the body are cooler than me.  My pride desperately wants you to think I am cool, that you should listen to me and know I am not a joke.  Well, pride and submission can't exist together.  And I am sorry but I love God more than any of you reading this.  God wants me to say, "I am a housewife because this is the race God has laid out in front of me."

So, I am Sarah Griffith, a -gulp- housewife.  That 1950's wife and Rosie The Riveter are both part of my make-up.  I dare you to ask me if I lay around all day and watch soap operas--you will walk away with a fat lip.  I may have been accountable to some wrong thinking, but I would not test my response to this yet.  I am learning how to be honoring of this job because I am love of the God who gave it to me.  Do I still struggle with wanting people to take me seriously? Yes! Do I still want to start every conversation with, "You should think I am cool because of ________________?"  Yes!  But God, is teaching me something.  The God that lives in me is more powerful, smarter and cooler than anything I could do in my own power.  People are attracted to the God in me, not the pride in me.  This God that made the universe also has a race for me, Sarah Griffith, to run and He just wants me to submit to Him, thats it.